Ash Wednesday 2016: The secret of always praying

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, Oh Lord my strength and my redeemer. Prayer is one of those funny things that we talk about doing all of the time, but I suspect that in reality, we don’t have a clear idea of what prayer actually is. Or, perhaps, we know how we pray, but we don’t really know how others pray. There are popular images of children, in their innocence, kneeling with their head down, hands together below their chin in an iconic posture of prayer. Or, there is the image of weathered hands in a praying position, drawn by Albrecht Duerer, accompanied by the apocryphal, emotion-laden legend that the hands were of his brother, who worked in the mines to finance Albrecht’s art training. Or, there is the woman I once encountered at a hospital chapel, who was kneeling on the floor with her arms propped up on the seat of a chair, praying out loud for the medical staff who were taking care of a relative. Her tone of voice was one of gentle pleading with someone who was sitting next to her, except that she was the only person in the room. And finally, there is the image of the Buddha, meditating in serene tranquility, eyes closed, hands folded gently in his lap. In the reading from the Gospel of Matthew, we hear first about how to pray from Jesus, followed by his prayer, arguably the best known prayer in Christianity. Jesus doesn’t mince words with what he considers to be false or empty prayers, ones where the act and the words carry more importance than the sentiment that should be behind them. He specifically calls out those who pray to be seen or heard, those whose piety is defined by how many others see them carry out their prayers, instead of quietly performing them as part of an authentic spiritual life. But Jesus doesn’t define exactly what prayer is beyond how not to do it, leaving it up to us and tradition to understand what prayer is and what it does. Prayer is an important part of Lenten observance, so it is important to understand what role prayer has in Lent and in our lives. The academic view of prayer is that there are 7 types defined in the catechism found toward the end of the Book of Common Prayer: adoration, praise, thanksgiving, penitence, oblation, intercession, and petition. Prayers of adoration and praise are close together, both expressing our loving relationship with God. Prayers of thanksgiving give us the opportunity to express gratitude to God for what we have experienced and received (presumably from God or others) in our life. Prayers of penitence are ones where we admit our sins and express regret and remorse for our actions, words, or attitudes toward ourselves, others or God. Prayers of oblation are ones where we commit our lives to serving God and others. Prayers of intercession are those we hear in the Prayers of the People, where we remember and present the needs of others to God. Prayers of petition are those where we humbly present our own needs to God. When the purpose of each type of prayer is examined, they become better defined: expressing love within a relationship, showing gratitude, admitting sin and demonstrating remorse, committing ourselves to service, humbling ourselves by presenting our needs, and putting the needs of others ahead of our wants. All of these actions are also ones that can be performed in the normal course of the day, which suggests that prayer could take many forms, not just the traditional or iconic forms seen so often and assumed to be how one prays. Richard Sheldrake, in an article written in 2009 presents a view of prayer held by a Jesuit priest and theologian named Karl Rahner. Rahner defined prayer as a relationship where ”All positive religious acts which are directly and explicitly related, both knowingly and willingly, to God may be called prayer.” All of the actions just mentioned, when consciously offered to God, in true sincerity and unself-consciousness are forms of true prayer. It’s an action we make that results from movement of the Holy Spirit within us to enter into the presence of God and without shame, expose the contents of our heart and soul to God. The prayer could be of love, gratitude, guilt, remorse, commitment, need or concern, but it is the willing exposure of those contents to God, and to ourselves that is at the heart of prayer. God listens while we expose ourselves and speak regardless of our perception, so that when we pray, we do the work rather than God. Even for intercessory prayers or petitions, when help is asked for, there is an admission of helplessness that dissolves our pride and hubris that so often causes hurt and strife. We realize that we aren’t the center of the world, or the universe, and that there are others who need our help. By giving thanks, we recognize that we have been given something of value, and accept that we are worthy of what has been given to us. By giving adoration and praise, we recognize an important relationship, and affirm and strengthen the loving relationship we have with others and with God. By confessing our sins, we recognize that we have not loved God or our neighbor, and we admit to the power we have to harm or destroy. By presenting oblations in prayer, we recognize that we hear God calling to us, and we become aware of the work set out for us. When we pray to God we are confronted by what we pray for, leading to changes in our perceptions and expectations of what we pray for. When we pray, we open the possibility of experiencing God’s presence in that moment, and can be transformed in that moment. By receiving God’s grace in that moment of prayer, we can better understand our relationship with God, or act on those prayers, or to accept the way that life truly is. God listens, but in the effort of prayer it is us who changes or acts because of the prayer we offer. So, what of the the image of a child kneeling in prayer? Or Albrecht Duerer’s sketch, or the woman praying in the hospital chapel? Or assuming the posture and temperament of the meditating Buddha? Are they forms of prayer? If the emotions and stories surrounding someone in prayer are removed, the true nature of what is happening becomes clearer: they are indeed praying, opening their hearts, minds and souls to God. This is what Jesus was addressing when he said to pray in private. If the intent and motivation to pray is open yourself to God, it doesn’t matter that no one sees it. In the presence of a loving and caring God, people in prayer are examining and presenting what they hold inside, trusting through faith that they will be heard with mercy and compassion and not be judged or condemned. These are just a few examples of what prayer looks like, ones that are culturally familiar. There are others that we engage in that don’t fit the cultural stereotype: long walks alone or with someone else; contemplation of a word, phrase, painting, scenery or pattern; a heartfelt conversation; sitting silently with someone suffering a loss or who is in crisis; the joy of seeing someone who is deeply loved; the uncomfortable silence after hurtful actions or words have been acknowledged; a promise to help or provide support. If we do these things naturally and unconsciously, we are living a life of prayer, rather than stopping to make a conscious effort to pray. And perhaps that was at the core of what Jesus was talking about when he chastised the hypocrites and gentiles with their overt and overblown praying: that prayer should become so embedded in us that there is no distinction between prayer and daily life. Everything we say or do is offered to God as a prayer for ourselves, for others, or to God. You may have noticed by now that I haven’t specifically mentioned prayer in church, and that is on purpose. We are here, praying in church for about an hour or two during the week. But there are 168 hours in a week, and it is those 164 remaining hours outside of church where our prayers are most effective as words and actions to others. During this season of Lent, self-examination is an important part of preparing ourselves for a resurrected life, free from our sins and habits that separate us from God. That self-examination is difficult and frightening, because we confront the side of ourselves that we would rather pretend wasn’t there. But if we can perform that self-examination in the context of prayer, we have a way of examining our sins and habits in a non-threatening way. We have a way of connecting to God and experiencing unconditional love and acceptance. We have a way of expressing what we have found in ourselves and a way of listening to others as they do the same. We have a way of asking for forgiveness for the hurt and suffering we cause and a way of giving thanks when we receive it. So I encourage you to join me during Lent in making prayer the way in which we examine ourselves and making it the language of a resurrected life. Let us work together toward making every word and every action an act of prayer to God, to each other, and to ourselves. Amen.