Dreaming of oil for my lamp
Several times in my life I have had a recurring dream that I have discovered others have had, too. In it, I am wandering around some school, a high school or a college, and I’m desperately looking for a classroom that I am supposed to be in. I am filled with dread because it is finals week, and I haven’t been to class at all, and I worry about how I am going to pass the final exam. By the time I find the classroom and go in to sit down, I wake up, so I don’t know how badly I did on the exam. It’s a feeling of being unprepared like the five foolish bridesmaids in Jesus’ parable in this morning’s Gospel reading from Matthew. But this feeling that I have goes beyond just feeling unprepared to feeling like I missed out, and it’s my fault. I don’t like that dream when I have it because it leaves me feeling anxious and guilty. I wonder how those five bridesmaids felt when they came back from buying more oil for their lamps and were told they wouldn’t be allowed into the wedding celebration. They weren’t good feelings, I’m sure, and were like mine when I’m dreaming about missed classes and looming final exams.
I was in New York City a few weeks ago for a short vacation with my family, and we went to some of the popular places that everyone says you just have to go see. In some of the places, like the bronze bull statue in the Financial District, there were a couple of people walking around with their phone held out in front of them talking to it, maybe livecasting on some social media platform. In other places, people were crowding around some other iconic item to take a selfie to show that they were there. This sharing has led to the recent phenomenon of FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, a fear that rises in us when we are exposed to the carefully crafted and cropped photos and videos that people take of themselves. The videos and pictures are purposefully staged so that we see only what they want us to see despite their spontaneous appearance. When we view these clips and pictures, we may feel jealousy and FOMO. What we don’t see, and what the bridesmaids did see was the rest of the experience. Those people who took happy pictures in front of the Statue of Liberty didn’t take pictures of the hour-long wait in the quarter-mile long line for the ferry off of the island. The bridesmaids know about the waiting and sleeping, and not having enough oil, and for them it was part of the whole experience. Their fear of missing out was different from missing out on social media and had to do with preparation instead of execution.
The implication of the Gospel reading and the unprepared bridesmaids is that we always have to be prepared, we always have to have everything we need, or we will miss out on the banquet, the kingdom of God. If we haven’t been paying attention, and we haven’t been participating, then we miss out altogether. But if we listen closely to Paul’s letter to the Christians in Thessaloniki, we hear the opposite, that the living and those who have died will rise in the air to meet Jesus as he returns on clouds to bring in the kingdom of God. This is a powerful image and it has evoked a lot of vivid artwork and writings and expectations as to what the second coming will look like. However, Paul borrows this imagery from the age-old custom of greeting travelers as they approach a home, and that is to go out to meet them before they reach your door. We see this custom when Abraham runs out to greet the three strangers who then tell Sarah that she will have a son; we see it when Jacob meets Rachel on the road as she approaches Isaac's tents; we see it when the overjoyed father runs out to meet his prodigal son coming home. For Paul, there is no missing out, no obligatory presence and participation, only faith that Jesus will return with the kingdom. It is a view of the kingdom that is inclusive, accessible, and without judgment.
So, how do we reconcile Matthew’s Gospel message of be prepared or lose out with Paul’s message that everyone will be included? Is one right and the other wrong? I don’t think it is that easily decided, that neatly divided. There is truth in both stories, a truth about our entry into the kingdom of God. The first part of the truth is that the kingdom is nearer than we think, as Jesus says elsewhere in the Gospels to Zacchaeus and to the scribe who said that the Great Commandment was greater than burnt offerings. What made it nearer was not Jesus’ returning, because he was there with them, but that both of these people expressed what Jesus was listening for: righteousness that came from faith, and not from perfection. The second part of the truth is what Paul lays out in his letter, that the kingdom is not exclusive and open to all without requirement. This is what I have meant when I say that we do God’s work on earth to build up the kingdom of God as disciples of Jesus. When these two truths are put together they will sound familiar, because I have mentioned it many times. I believe strongly that the truth that comes from these two readings is contained in our baptismal vows.
Our vows are our preparation for the kingdom, a summary of how Jesus taught us to live and what sort of relationship to have with God and the people around us as part of the kingdom. They are the keys that open the door that was closed on the unprepared bridesmaids, and when we open that door, the kingdom comes near. The things we promise to do in those vows is to prepare ourselves as we build the kingdom of God by building community, loving each other unconditionally, admitting our mistakes, and seeking justice and dignity for everyone. Our vows do not run out like oil in a lamp, and we renew them yearly, not to replenish our faith and piety but to remember what having faith and piety means in our lives. So we don’t need to be perfect or fully prepared for the kingdom. Our preparation comes from how we live our lives, not because we have enough or have done enough of something. God understands that we are a work in progress and that we grow as we build our faith and spiritual life. Jesus’ death on the cross and our salvation is freely offered to us without requirements. Don’t worry about the quantity of oil that you have, pay attention instead to how it was made. Don’t worry about how much light your lamp makes for you to see, pay attention instead to how you light your lamp. Don’t worry about your lamp being balanced and having the latest features for producing light, focus instead on having a lamp that works, and maybe having an extra lamp to give to someone who doesn’t have a lamp.
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