God does say yes

Sermon for Pentecost XXII, delivered at St. Paul's Episcopal Church, Louisville, KY
Text: Job 38:1-7, 34-41; Mark 10:35-45

Early in 1991, I made a phone call to the office of the Diocese of Indianapolis. I knew that there was a meeting coming up for people in discernment in the Diocese, and I had been meeting with a small committee in my parish in Bloomington, working on my discernment. I asked where the meeting would be, and the person on the other end said that they would get back to me. A few minutes later, I got a call from my Rector saying that I would not be attending the meeting or moving forward in the process toward the priesthood. I was crushed, but I figured out later that I was asking what James and John were asking Jesus: to be placed in a position of authority because they wanted to be there, or because they felt they were qualified. I had the same attitude of being qualified, and I was looking for a career right out of college. Jesus answered me, John, and James by saying, “It is not my place to grant that authority and privilege; that place will be given to those who it has been prepared for.” Elevation to such a position was to be given by God to those who had something other than a desire to be in that position.

This passage, and the idea that Jesus is presenting, continues from a section of Mark 10 that is between last week’s and this week’s reading. In that passage, Jesus tells the disciples that they are going to Jerusalem, where he will be arrested, tried, mocked, killed, and then rise from the dead. This morning’s reading picks up immediately after that conversation with the disciples, making it sound like James and John expect to inherit places of honor after Jesus’ death. But, they weren’t going to be invited to sit in such an important place simply because they had followed Jesus faithfully. In last week’s reading we heard Jesus say how hard it is to gain eternal life and enter the kingdom of God, and now James and John are being told just how hard it is to be elevated in authority. They think they will sit on the steps of the throne because of what they have accomplished and been a part of, but Jesus says no, that place is opened through servanthood. It is prepared for and to be given to those who serve the least, the last, which were the people Jesus healed: the outcast, the rejected, the people of no account. The keys to the kingdom that Jesus brings are humility and service, rather than social position and opportunity.

But then what about me? I was an acolyte, a reader, a eucharistic visitor. I did all the things that showed that I could be a priest, but I wasn’t chosen. I wasn’t invited. My attitude turned out to be a backwards approach to being chosen through my experience, instead of showing that I had an attitude of selflessness. If you think back to all the people who were healed by Jesus, they didn't have to wait. His healing happened when he saw them, or heard of them. He didn't put the laws of the sabbath or the laws that said who could forgive sins ahead of their need to be healed. This is what I eventually learned in the years of discernment before my ordination, that I had to leave behind the rules in my head that said “this is how you do it.” I had to let go of thinking merit would lead to ordination. I had to resolve the needs of my ego and let go of the anxiety about being good enough that drove me toward wanting to be among the first or the greatest, instead of just being me.

The reading from the book of Job with God’s sharp words to him illustrates what we will take on if we are granted our wish to be seated next to power and authority. In the reading, God confronts Job with a list of things that God has the power to accomplish. God asks Job if he was there when God created the earth, or if Job can call down floods, or feed young animals. The point here is that God says that if you want power and authority, the same as what James and John are asking for, then you have no idea what you're asking for. You are not ready for that level of authority because you are not prepared for the responsibility that comes with it. You may not have what it takes to handle that responsibility. God may be saying no, not to deny you a place in the world, but no to occupying a specific place in it. God does say yes, despite the "That Shall NOTs" of the 10 commandments. There is still a place for all of us in this world, as individuals and as a congregation.

The glamor of sitting next to Jesus, or me standing on the right of Father Andrew, or the desire for community leadership, or expecting an invitation to some other role is very attractive and lures us into a position like James and John were in. We want the glamor and notoriety but not the responsibility, and we ignore the call from God to be just us. We ignore the call, the true invitation to our place, to that place prepared especially for us, to do God’s work with the gifts we have been given. We have to instead listen for God's call directing us to where we are needed; we have to pay attention to hear the “yes” that we miss when we hear the “no,” and actually, that listening is the easy part. The harder part is letting go of the desire and expectation that our will be done, that we get to choose where we sit as followers of Jesus in the kingdom of God. Jesus said no to a request to sit next to him, but he did say yes to discipleship, which is far more important and rewarding than wish fulfillment. Let us then open our hearts in humility, and listen for the “yes,” and not lose faith when we hear the “no.” We may in fact hear several “yeses,” and it is up to us to decide which one we will follow.